EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT
Physicians and many parents understand
children's actions and attitudes better today than was true forty or fifty
years ago. We know, from studies of human emotions, that much of what even
adults do is the result of complicated feelings, some of which we are not
consciously aware of. We know that the development of generally reasonable behavior
comes only with growing up physically, and so we expect children to be governed
by their feelings rather than by reason or logic.
We know that glib judgments
that a child is "good" or "bad" are useless. It is far more
important to realize that a child's emotional development, along with his
physical and intellectual development, does not march smoothly down a broad
highway, nicely in step. Children have their "bad" periods-for
example, at about two and a half when they suddenly seem to become tense,
fearful and contrary.
Then perhaps, just as suddenly, they become "good"
at three.
Periods of equilibrium are, of course, easier than those of uneven
development, but both are part of growth. The suddenly balky child at two and a
half is the same child as at two, and equally deserving of love. We don't want
to give the impression that parents need never be concerned about children's behavior. But we do
want to emphasize that difficulties are part of growth and should be regarded
as challenges to you to find ways to help and support a child as he weathers
the squalls. Don't be a "fair-weather" parent who loves a child only
when things are going well.
