Masturbation
This is a problem for both sexes although
it is usually regarded as a special one where boys are concerned. It is a
problem in the sense that almost every individual has been faced with the
desire to masturbate and must work out his or her own solution to the question.
It is also a problem in the sense that sexual desire is not all physical but
encompasses desire for intimacy with a member of the opposite sex, and this
intimacy cannot exist during masturbation except in fantasy form. These are the
only real problems of masturbation.
Others, although not real, have caused
countless heartaches and tragedies. Masturbation is not harmful and fear is
unnecessary. It never causes physical or mental sickness. Guilt is unnecessary
because a very large percentage of boys and girls have practiced some form of
masturbation during their growing years and often into adult life.
Fear and guilt can cause emotional problems
that can mar a child's future. Don't inflict them on your children in order to
prevent the "evil" of masturbation. There is no such evil-and you
couldn't prevent it if there were. If a boy or girl becomes addicted to
masturbation-practicing it, say, daily-the problem is an emotional one which
should be discussed with a doctor or counselor. The masturbation is a sign, not
a cause, of the emotional difficulty.
Homosexual Practices Many girls and boys
indulge in some form of homosexual play with a companion or companions. Usually
this is harmless and stops as the boy or girl matures. But it is at this time
that an older, confirmed homosexual may exert unfortunate influence. If such a
situation has arisen, parents need a great deal of skill and tact; in many
cases, they would be' wise to discuss the problem with a trained counselor.
Such
situations are less likely to arise if boys and girls know the' facts about
homosexuality. Most young people pick up some information on this subject;
usually it is misinformation. This may cause them needless worry about whether
they themselves are "queer," or it may make a homosexual seem
sophisticated, wicked, and fascinating. Understanding what homosexuality
actually is will serve as a protection for healthy adolescents.
Every young person should know that a
preference for members of one's own sex is natural in late childhood or early
adolescence and that it may overlap, but only for a short time, the development
of interest in the other sex. A normal adolescent then grows up emotionally,
finding the opposite sex attractive. A man or woman who has not progressed in
this way can be regarded as emotionally immature, retarded, or ill, how- ever
intellectually brilliant he or she may be. It is not necessary to give a child
a lecture on this subject. It is much better to make the points as
opportunities present themselves.
We know that some parents have difficulty
doing this. We urge that you honestly face the question of whether you are one
who has such difficulty. Do you feel awkward or embarrassed about discussing
masturbation, nocturnal emissions, or any other subject with your children?
Does your own early training make you act as though you thought some things
were wicked when you know they really are not? If so, if you have any doubts,
you will do your children the most good by first facing your own situation, If
you have doubts, discussion with your doctor, a marriage counselor, or someone
in the field of child guidance will either increase your confidence or help you
decide that it would be best to let the doctor or some other trained person
discuss these matters with your children.
