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Monday, January 19, 2015

Mental health SATISFACTORY SEXUAL RELATIONS

SATISFACTORY SEXUAL RELATIONS

It would be possible to write almost interminably on this subject from a theoretical standpoint. But this is neither practical nor necessary. Sexual intercourse, which can lead to great happiness or great misery, is not a complete mystery to any person. When there are problems, it is usually because there are certain gaps in knowledge and understanding. And what we shall try to do here is to close those gaps, gaps that have been narrowed by the efforts of many physicians who, through tactful inquiry, have sought to help patients in whom they suspected that sexual maladjustment, even though not mentioned by the patients, might well be a source of psychological and psychosomatic problems. 

We do not feel that it is within our province to take moral stands but rather to state problems and questions that most commonly concern husbands and wives and to try to provide information on the basis of established knowledge, dismissing the misconceptions and myths that even today prevail.
Is it necessary to read extensively on the subject of sex, to study many manuals about it? Some books can be helpful, but much more important for a successful sexual relationship than encyclopedic knowledge is a striving for mutual enjoyment rather than emulation of the practices of others per se, or an attempt to follow some rule in a book. 

Generally, the fewer idealized goals that a husband and wife set for them to attain, the more likely they are to achieve sexual happiness. Should a couple have sexual intercourse prior to marriage to determine whether they are compatible? Whether or not to have premarital relations is a matter for each couple to decide. However, it seems naive to us to believe that one can successfully "test" so subtle and delicate a matter. A satisfactory sexual adjustment is seldom achieved at once; much more often, it is developed gradually. Does the size of the respective organs of man and woman play an important part in the success of their relationship? Many men have worried unduly because they feared they were too small; many women have worried because they thought they were too large to give pleasure or so small as to make intercourse painful.


Except in rare instances, relative size of genital organs is no problem because of the possibility of using techniques that will minimize any difficulties. It is worth noting that the vagina is greatly expandable; in fact, it has been established that at one stage of sexual excitement, it balloons so that if intromission occurs at the proper time, any vagina can accommodate any penis. Can earlier-in-life masturbation affect ability to have successful sexual relations? Any harmful effects of masturbation are due to fears and guilty associated with it. Physically, no damage is done. Almost everyone has practiced some form of masturbation; 92 percent of all men interviewed by Dr. Kinsey recalled having practiced it at some time; 88 percent of unmarried men practiced it between ages 12 and 20, and some 50 percent did at age 50. The practice among females is scarcely less general, al- though it is often incomplete or only partially conscious. 

Does youthful petting inhibit later satisfactory sexual relations? It is usual for young people to engage in some form of lovemaking which stops short of intercourse. It is a common way for them to discover, or demonstrate, their physical attraction for each other. Petting that is pro- longed or habitual and involves great self-restraint to stop short of actual intercourse may have a temporarily bad effect. For example, if a girl has been accustomed to being on guard against letting she go too far, she may have some difficulty, when first married, in relaxing and enjoying the sexual act. But, in general, petting is good preparation for full sexuality.