The girl may feel
deprived; the boy may fear something can happen to him so he will be like the
girl. If often pays to take the lead and avoid such problems by explaining that
boys and girls are made differently because they are going to be different when
they grow up; a girl is going to be a mother, a boy a father. While false
modesty is to be avoided, most experts in child psychology advise parents not
to expose their naked bodies to children, even very young ones. Adults and
children should not take baths together. It may disturb children to be reminded
so vividly of the physical differences between themselves and their parents. It
is important to take precautions so that children do not witness or hear the
sexual act; they are likely to mistake passion for violence and to become
frightened by seeing or listening to ardent lovemaking.
Be sure to remember that sex is more than reproduction.
Nothing you can tell a child about the "facts of life" can be as
important to him as seeing and realizing for himself what a good relationship
between a man and a woman means in terms of tenderness, respect, and loyalty.
It has been said that the greatest sex education in the home comes when a child
sees his father pat his mother lovingly. Masturbation Take it as a virtual
certainty that your child will masturbate. Babies play with their genitals as
naturally as they play with their toes. Unless their attention becomes riveted
on this area-because of an irritation or because of the attitude of parents-no
bad habits result.
At various stages of development, both boys and girls play
with their own genitals, and those of other children, out of natural curiosity.
It is also, of course, a source of pleasure, but that is no reason to worry
about it. Think of masturbation as we suggested you think of thumb sucking.
When indulged in excessively, masturbation, too, indicates that the child has
an emotional problem. It is a sign, rather than cause, of
"nervousness." Ignoring excessive masturbation is not the answer. A
child having trouble making friends or may have other worries may also be
worried about masturbating so much. If one of his parents talks it over with
him openly and calmly, offering reassurance that masturbation is something all
children do and that in itself it is not harmful, the conversation can
accomplish more than nervously ignoring the whole subject.
