PROBLEMS OF PARENTS
Parents, meanwhile, are suddenly now
required to face the fact that the child is becoming an adult
This
means growing independence, possibly leaving home for school, job, or marriage.
Particularly in small families, the loneliness they see ahead may overwhelm
parents. It is often tempting to try to prevent the child from becoming really
adult-from "grow- ing up too fast"-in the hope he will stay at home.
It is no easy matter for anyone to face the fact that, with children becoming
mature, middle age is here. Nor is it easy to pass the reins to another at just
the right time and gracefully.
Parents, even the most mature and
realistic, face problems at this period
They
know their help is needed; their children, however intelligent and
well-balanced, still lack experience. Almost daily, parents hear or read about
a tragic accident to a teen-ager, ruined health, a marriage of necessity, and
cases of rape, homosexuality, and insanity. It is hardly a wonder that parents
cannot sit back passively and let children court disaster. But if they exert
undue authority, the result may only be rebellion.
How much should they tell
their children? Long ago, they told them the facts of life abnormal life and
its reproduction. But now how much should they tell them about life's uglier
aspects? These problems for parents are complicated because they occur along
with many other problems, for other things are happening, too-perhaps an
illness in the family, need for the father to change jobs, etc. There is not
always all the time needed, as one parent has put it, "to give your
calmest consideration to this teen- ager who has become a will-o'-the-wisp and
slips through your fingers just when you want to do your best."
Always,
there will be problems and emotional stresses for both parents and children
during this period. It is important not to exaggerate them, to give them the
best thought and effort we can, and to realize that time and nature, which
create the problems, also help to solve many of them.
