HEALTHY SEXUAL ATTITUDES FOR CHILDREN
As
parents, we are not likely to exert great influence on what our children do
about sex through direct suggestions or commands. Undoubtedly, their attitudes
will be influenced by the example we set in our pattern of living and the
maturity and love displayed in the home. What other roles do we
have--potentially effective roles-in helping them to develop healthy sexual
attitudes? We can stand in the background, unobtrusively observing, so we can
be ready to help when necessary. We can make the home an attractive and welcome
place for our children's friends. Allowing them freedom and privacy in and
around the home will help them work out normal sex urges.
You
cannot recommend the same behavior for all of them indiscriminately. I rather
hope that my own daughter will pet or neck, or whatever the proper term may be,
preferably with boys she knows well and likes, and only with her
contemporaries. Love-making of this type is a healthy preparation for marriage.
I hope that she will not have intercourse or end up merely a technical virgin.
Quite aside from any moral implications, such a step is risky. If she does have
a complete relationship, though, I most earnestly hope that she will know what
she is about, that she will not go into an affair because she happens to be
tight, or thinks it's 'the thing' or wants to prove that she can carry it off.
These are my hopes.
They are based on my observation of the
kind of behavior least likely to cause trouble in our particular social group.
But she may order her life quite differently and be none the worse for it. If
she is neither afraid of sex nor bamboozled by its glamour I shall be very
content." Note these points made by Dr. Levy, which are applicable equally
to boys and girls: Adolescent lovemaking should be with friends of
approximately the same age. A certain amount of petting and necking is good as
a preparation for the fuller, richer love of marriage. If the young person
prefers some other way, accept the decision with the hope it will be a
realistic one and will not cause unhappiness.
As parents, we cannot live our children's
lives; we cannot order or predetermine their lives. Above all, however, we can
be close enough to our children so they will always know they can turn to us
for honest, sympathetic guidance-and also for help-if there should be trouble,
even pregnancy or a venereal disease. If all young people could feel this way
about their parents, how very many tragedies could be avoided!
