Stammering, Nail Biting, Tics, Other Habits Children, as we
have indicated earlier, go through periods of increased tensions in their
development. These vary with age, home situation, the child's temperament and
manifest themselves, too, in various ways. Some babies rock violently or bang
their heads against the crib. An older child may bite his nails, make grimaces,
blink his eyes, or twitch his lips. Simply trying to use the new words he is
learning so rapidly may make him stammer.
Don't nag, scold, or shame the child.
This will simply increase his tensions and establish the habit more firmly.
Ignore these symptoms and try to find and eliminate their cause. Usually, time
will help. And you often can help in simple ways. For example, if you listen
closely to a stammering child, he may relax because he doesn't think he has to
try so hard to get his ideas across. If you play at "manicuring" a
child's nails, you may make it easier for him to stop biting them.
If tensions persist, describe them fully to the child's
doctor. Jealousy Once it was thought that having siblings-that is, brothers and
sisters -made every child happy. Then opinion shifted to the other extreme and
we heard so much about sibling rivalry that it sometimes seemed that every
personality problem could be traced to the effect brothers and sisters have on
each other. There is some truth to both viewpoints. It's important, we think,
for parents to remember that jealousy is pain- ful, and pain can have bad
effects. It may take great ingenuity to avoid causing any more jealousy than is
necessary, but it is worth it. You can't prevent jealousy' entirely, and you
certainly should not make children conceal it. But you can help your children
to overcome it.
With the arrival of a second child, the first must share the
limelight and must adjust to that. Make it as easy for him as you can without
neglecting the rights of the second child. For example, it won't harm the new
baby if you avoid talking about him constantly in front of the older child, and
it certainly won't harm him if you show you love them both. Let your children
know that they are not alike and you wouldn't want 468 I amily Preuontiue Care
Preuentiue Medicine for Children I 469 them to be; that you love them as they
are. Let them realize that your love is so elastic it will always "go
round" with room for one more.
Unexpressed love does little good for a
child. Parents should show their love. Ask yourself whether you have had the
time-and patience- to show your love every day. True love is given freely
without asking anything from the child. Remember that you can praise and pet a
child without pampering and overprotecting him. Give your child plenty of
praise, encouragement, and affection.
