Parents will, we think, do best if they let nature take its
course, with just a little encouragement and guidance. Parents can, for
example, make occasional suggestions about use of the potty when the child is
really ready to understand what is meant, or remind a child that it is a good
idea to go to the bathroom before he becomes so engrossed in something that he
won't take the trouble.
Toilet training should, we think, be avoided in the
first year for all children and in the second year for most children. If you do
insist upon trying early, you should be prepared for many failures; and when
there are failures, you should be prepared to be nonchalant and willing to
start over again. Doctors often encounter parents who are so upset about soiled
diapers that it seems almost necessary to encourage them to go ahead and try
premature toilet training.
But this is regretful because the child is being
required to assume a burden the parents should be willing to carry. Talk the
matter of toilet training over with your doctor. If he sees that you appreciate
the value of being in no rush, he will undoubtedly encourage you to wait until
the child is ready. Thumb sucking Almost all children suck their thumbs at
times-when they are going to sleep or are frightened or lonely. Babies also
suck their thumbs or fingers when hungry and when teething. The best way to
handle thumb- sucking is to regard it as a harmless way for a child to obtain
satisfaction or reassurance-s-and to forget about it. If your child seems to
thumb suck excessively, don't immediately worry about his face being distorted
or his teeth injured.
These things almost never happen if sucking stops before
the second teeth appear. But do think about possible reasons why he requires
this kind of satisfaction. Often your doctor can help you discover them.
Usually thumb sucking indicates that a child is, in some way, deprived of all
the affection he wants or that he needs the solace of his thumb in situations
that make him feel nervous and tense.
Babies are less likely to suck their thumbs very much if
they are breast-fed (which requires harder sucking than bottle feeding), if
they are bottle-fed and the holes in the nipples are not too large, if they are
allowed to drink their fill, and if they are allowed to progress from breast to
bottle to cup at their own speed. Older children who still suck their thumbs do
so out of needs other than an urge to suck. They may suck when bored, tired,
very sleepy, or when they have been scolded, or are lonely or tense. Usually, children
stop thumb sucking by the age of four or five. If your child is older and you
are fairly certain that the habit is simply lingering, you can generally find a
way to help the child give it up.
