Alcohol and sexual relationship

Too much alcohol eventually decreases sexual potency, as it does health in general. A well-balanced diet, enough rest, and general care of the body, as discussed elsewhere in this book, are essential to your health, of which your sexual health is an important part. It is obviously hazardous to try to decrease sexual desire by exhausting yourself or eating so little as to feel generally below par. Let us add that there are no special foods that increase or decrease potency. 

When abstinence is necessary, keeping busy and avoiding erotic stimulation as much as possible may relieve sexual tensions. Is intercourse ever dangerous or harmful? It is dangerous when either partner has a venereal disease. Intercourse, as well as other forms of close contact, should be avoided during contagious illness of any type. Certain non-contagious diseases make intercourse unadvisable or even dangerous.

Anyone who is not in good health should discuss this matter frankly with his or her physician, who will be able to decide whether or not coitus is permissible. However, we want to make the point that it is often possible to prevent undue strain or overexertion for one or both partners by using certain positions during intercourse. 

We know of couples who have abandoned sexual relations because the wife could not tolerate the weight of her husband, or the activity was too much for the husband's heart. They had the misconception that it was not "nice" or "right" or "normal" to use positions for coitus that would overcome their difficulties. While most people in our culture assume one position for intercourse, this is only a matter of custom.

There is absolutely no reason to consider those over 40, worry unduly about such an episode and develop a "fear of failure" cycle. It is the fear, not the aging that leads to their chronic impotence. What if a husband wishes sexual relations when the wife is not in the mood? Assuming that she is not disturbed by unsettled problems outside the bedroom and that she is not withholding sex as a kind of punishment, the fortunate fact is that a wife can participate in sex as a loving partner even if she is not in the mood. Often, the fact that she is giving pleasure to her husband is enough to change her mood, to transform passive acceptance into active desire. 

Sexual desire

Sexual desire sometimes develops slowly in women

They may not reach sexual maturity until they have been married for some time. The awakening may be gradual or may take place suddenly. Women tend to be less quickly and spontaneously aroused than men. Both partners should understand this. A woman should not feel that her husband is oversexed or "crude" if he desires intercourse because he has seen her partially undressed or because she has kissed him affectionately. A man should not consider himself rejected or decide that his wife is cold if she fails to be aroused so readily. 394 I Family Preventive Care Many women need a warming-up period, both to feel desire and Lo be physically ready for intercourse.

When a woman is sufficiently aroused, her vagina is well lubricated and naturally receptive to insertion of the penis. Many women respond best to lovemaking that begins with verbal expressions of affection, kisses, and gentle caresses and proceeds to stimulation of the breasts, the nipples, the clitoris (the small projection outside the vagina, which is composed of erectile tissue similar to the penis), and the vagina itself. Each husband should learn to know the degree to which his wife is excited by caresses of different parts of the body. If the husband is skillful, will a wife always achieve sexual satisfaction? Even under the most favorable circumstances, some women do not experience an orgasm, or climax. 

Some experience an orgasm only after they have been married for some time.

Some experience it only occasionally, perhaps only at certain periods of the month, as their desire may be of a cyclical nature, peaking before, during, or after the menstrual period. In 'men, the orgasm is clearly defined; in women it may be vague or diffuse. Its intensity varies. It may center in the clitoris or may appear to involve the internal portion of the vagina, or a woman may experience both types of orgasm. Often, failure to achieve orgasm does' not prevent a woman from having pleasure from the sexual act; failure does not necessarily make her tense and frustrated; this, too, varies in individual women. It is important for a man to help his wife experience the sexual satisfaction he enjoys.

 Men often reach climax more rapidly than women. This can usually be compensated for by making certain that the woman is highly stimulated before actual intercourse begins. While many couples find it particularly satisfying to reach orgasm simultaneously, others see no objection to having the woman reach it first. Generally, a woman's desire fades rather slowly after orgasm, whereas that of a man tends to vanish rapidly. It is not unusual, especially if a man is young or greatly excited, for him occasionally to have an orgasm almost immediately upon beginning the sexual act; this is called premature ejaculation. However, if it occurs habitually, he should consult a doctor. 

Often premature ejaculation is due to early, furtive, hurried sex experiences. As a result, a man may not have learned to enjoy a leisurely sexual pace and to adapt to his partner's needs.