Too much alcohol eventually decreases sexual potency, as it
does health in general. A well-balanced diet, enough rest, and general care of
the body, as discussed elsewhere in this book, are essential to your health, of
which your sexual health is an important part. It is obviously hazardous to try
to decrease sexual desire by exhausting yourself or eating so little as to feel
generally below par. Let us add that there are no special foods that increase
or decrease potency.
When abstinence is necessary, keeping busy and avoiding
erotic stimulation as much as possible may relieve sexual tensions. Is
intercourse ever dangerous or harmful? It is dangerous when either partner has
a venereal disease. Intercourse, as well as other forms of close contact,
should be avoided during contagious illness of any type. Certain non-contagious
diseases make intercourse unadvisable or even dangerous.
Anyone who is not in good health should discuss this matter
frankly with his or her physician, who will be able to decide whether or not
coitus is permissible. However, we want to make the point that it is often
possible to prevent undue strain or overexertion for one or both partners by
using certain positions during intercourse.
We know of couples who have
abandoned sexual relations because the wife could not tolerate the weight of
her husband, or the activity was too much for the husband's heart. They had the
misconception that it was not "nice" or "right" or "normal"
to use positions for coitus that would overcome their difficulties. While most
people in our culture assume one position for intercourse, this is only a
matter of custom.
There is absolutely no reason to consider those over 40,
worry unduly about such an episode and develop a "fear of failure"
cycle. It is the fear, not the aging that leads to their chronic impotence.
What if a husband wishes sexual relations when the wife is not in the mood?
Assuming that she is not disturbed by unsettled problems outside the bedroom and
that she is not withholding sex as a kind of punishment, the fortunate fact is
that a wife can participate in sex as a loving partner even if she is not in
the mood. Often, the fact that she is giving pleasure to her husband is enough
to change her mood, to transform passive acceptance into active desire.
