Certainly, there are times when illness or extreme fatigue
prevents this, and an understanding husband will wait for a more favorable
time. Should sexual preferences be discussed between husband and wife? In as
many as 90 percent of sexually unhappy marriages, some investigators have
found, there has been a barrier of silence.
The wife has never told her husband
the things that are sexually meaningful for her, that help her develop her
sexual feelings. She has never told her husband the 'things she wishes he would
do. It is essential for wives and husbands to learn to say: This is what I like
and don't like what I want and don't want. How often should one have
intercourse? There is no proper frequency for sex.
Sexual satisfaction is much more a matter of quality than
quantity. Appetites vary. If there is any suggestion it is that frequency of
intercourse should be as spontaneous' as any other aspect of sex, and no rule
should be followed. Statistics compiled by various investigators indicate that
the average is about twice a week, more often in young or newly wedded couples,
less often in older ones. But so many factors-temperaments, opportunity,
fatigue, compatibility-are involved that such figures mean little to any
individual.
The best guide, we suggest, is: If both partners feel well,
if coitus does not cause discomfort or fatigue, and if it is followed by
physical and emotional relaxation, there is no need to worry about over- doing.
Repeated failure to obtain satisfaction after experiencing orgasm indicates
some problem, which should be discussed with your physician or a trained
counselor. While there usually is some decline in desire to have intercourse as
middle age is reached, some women reach the height of sexual vigor quite late
in life, even after they have passed the menopause, and some men remain
sexually vigorous into old age.
Should there be intercourse during the
menstrual period? This is a matter for each couple to decide. Coitus may cause
the wife some big comfort, especially if she has "cramps" during her
period, but it will do no physical harm to either husband or wife.
Coitus does not "consume" one's potency, and
abstention not that any position is the right or normal one if.
