if thumb sucking is associated with twisting a blanket, you
might suggest that the child cuddle a doll instead. But don't make an issue of
it. Interest in Sex You can be certain that sooner or later a child will be
interested in the sex organs, where babies come from, even in sexual
intercourse. If your relationship with him is a good one, he will ask questions
just as freely as he asks why grass is green. They may not be easy questions to
answer, but do your best to answer them truthfully. The fact is that telling
the truth is simpler in the long run.
Children don't mind deception about Santa
Claus, mainly because there is fun in the deception and no tension about it in
their parents. Deceptions about the stork, however, are likely to create
problems. It is often hard for parents to explain later why they told the stork
story.
It is easier to answer truthfully the simple questions small
children ask than to take on the complicated ones they think of later. Tell the
truth and you and the child get off to a good start. You need not go into
details. That is more than the child usually can understand. Tell the truth
simply and without baffling, meaningless analogies about birds and bees. / The
first thing children usually want to know, sometimes when they are no more than
two years old, is where babies come from. The answer can be simply that they
grow inside their mothers.
Then, or sometime later, a child is likely to ask
how the baby got there, and an adequate answer can be that "It grew from a
little seed that was there all the time." When, as is likely, the child
wants to know how the baby got out, the answer can be "Through a special
opening that mothers have." And when the child asks whether daddies have
anything to do with it, it can be said that the father's seed is needed, too.
It may be necessary to repeat all or part of this information frequently, but
that does not mean that you should add more facts than the child demands.
Small children rarely expect explicit information about the
sexual act or the actual mechanism of birth. When they are older and do want to
know, explain simply in your own words. If you feel you can't do this, tell
your child you will read to him about it. Many excellent books on birth in
animals and human beings are available, and your librarian can suggest several.
Give your child truthful answers about the sex organs, too. Sometimes, it may
be necessary to volunteer a little information, since children are not always
able to make their curiosity, or concern, known to their par- ents. The fact
that a boy has a penis, and a girl does not, often is a source of worry to both
of them.
