Most important, whatever disciplinary measures you use, make
it clear that the child has not lost your love. Let Children Express Their
Emotions Children tend to express their emotions in undiluted fashion. They say
"1 love you," "I hate you," or will kill him dead,"
when we would say "That's nice of you," "I wish you wouldn't do
that," or "I'd like him to go away." If a child tells you
"I hate you," don't be shocked. Take it in stride, perhaps making a
noncommittal remark such as that everyone feels like that sometimes.
As soon as
the child's frustration is over, you can count on him being in a loving mood
again. But if you are horrified, the child will feel guilty and repress his
reactions.
It is natural to have
feelings of hostility. Accepting this makes it easier for children and adults
to feel and express their affections and love more fully. While children should
be allowed and even encouraged to act out and talk out their natural
hostilities rather than repress them, they should not be allowed to hurt people
physically.
Children seldom know how Far they should let their emotions go. We
parents must show them. We think children want us to show them. When they go
too far, they often seem to welcome being restrained by a firm word or even by
being removed physically from the situation. Toilet Training Toilet training is
important. Some authorities believe that there is a connection between physical
and mental health of adults and the way they were toilet trained.
Many parents try to
train too early and strictly, often with feelings of revulsion and shame on
their own part. Children then may be conditioned toward being unsure, worried
about dirt, or ashamed of parts of their bodies. Frequently, the child of a
mother who takes toilet training too seriously discovers that he can upset or
delight her by failure or success-and so what should be a simple physiological
function becomes a source of power or shame.
On the other hand, children who
receive toilet training when they are ready for it, who are not pushed too hard
and not punished or shamed when they fail, have a better chance to realize the
full potentialities of their personalities. We would like to urge parents to
remember that a child, if left to him- self, will stop wetting and soiling when
he is ready to do so.
