What research says about Mental Illnesses?

INSIGHTS FROM SOME RECENT STUDIES With researchers today investigating every facet of the husband-wife relationship-many of the studies are sponsored by the National Institute of Mental Health because of recognition that marital conflict is a major health problem-new insights are constantly being turned up. It should be emphasized that they are insights, not definitive conclusions. It is difficult to reach definitive conclusions in areas as complex as marriage. But the insights are worth noting.

Thus, research studies at Harvard, the University of Michigan, and other major institutions suggest that when husband and wife are equally mature and motivated, they can get along as well-even though they do not have similar backgrounds, attitudes, interests, and personalities as couples who do have such similarities. And, conversely, when a couple is unable to adjust and to grow with the marriage, it does not matter how great the initial similarities were. Unrealistic marriage expectations, many studies show, are the chief source of marital unhappiness. Among couples asked to rate themselves on a happiness scale, those who scored themselves happiest turned out to be playing roles in marriage which they had expected to play and which their spouses expected them to play.

Those who expected their spouses to act like a favorite TV or movie star, or like Dad or Mom, were in trouble. This is not surprising, of course, but some studies also reveal that some young people, even among those who plan seriously for marriage, have expectations that seem reasonable but aren't really realistic for them. Thus, many young people tell researchers that when they marry, the wife will not work; she will go to college; it is more important for her to be an interesting and entertaining companion than a good housekeeper or cook. But the fact is that many wives must work, are unable to go to college, or fail when they do go. And study after study shows that most men, whatever they may say to the contrary, much prefer having a wife who is neat and efficient around the house than one who is brilliant and a witty conversationalist but leaves dust on the furniture or dirty dishes in the sink.

Personalities and character structures affect Mental strength

Personalities and character structures are of prime importance in this most important contract of adult humans. It is upon these factors that the success or failure of the marriage depends. When difficulty arises in a marriage, when there is discontent, frustration or discord, physical and psychic symptoms may follow. Preventive medicine has become increasingly aware that many health problems are precipitated by marital problems. While there is no such thing as a blueprint for a happy marriage, it is wise, before entering marriage, to be aware of the factors that are most likely to lead to successful marriage and those that may foredoom a marriage. Out of scientific studies which have investigated many thousands of marriages to determine reasons for success and failure, experts in the field have arrived at some guidelines.

CULTURAL BACKGROUND

 Generally, people feel more at home with others who have had similar childhoods and have similar customs, manners, and tastes. Certainly, marriages between people of different races, religions, and economic and social classes can be successful. But it is only realistic to recognize that such marriages must overcome extra problems, not necessarily insoluble but real enough-problems caused not only by social disapproval but by the number of adjustments that must be made. For example, a rural Southern boy and a city-bred Northern girl may find it quite difficult to arrive at a way of living that makes them both happy and comfortable.

EDUCATIONAL LEVEL

 Not only the actual learning experiences but the experiences of being with others and the opening up of interests which Healthy Adjustment in Marring!! / 37 schooling provides can be of importance in marital adjustments. It is usually helpful to a marriage when both partners have roughly the same amount of education.

ECONOMIC AND JOB STATUS

 More important than the size of a man's income is the job he has, not alone the salary he gets from it but the satisfaction; the challenge it offers him; the fulfillment he gets from working at it; the possibilities it holds for the future, either in itself or in other opportunities to which it may lead. Generally, today, the more educational preparation he has had for his work, the more rewarding- not only in immediate financial return but in other ways-it is likely to be, and the better candidate he is for marriage. 

MEntal Illness causes and treatemnt

 Marriage can help assure a healthy mental and emotional life if there is true love, acceptance of each other's good and weak points by the mates, and a happy, fulfilling sexual life. Marriage should continue to grow as a creative experience and not settle into "dullsville." Because marriage is so important in preventing emotional problems, at the first sign of significant marital trouble there should be a talk with a marriage counselor. Sometimes a single session will work wonders. (See page 327 for further discussion of marriage.)

Pregnancy and the arrival of children

 Pregnancy can set off emotional problems. We have a section on pregnancy. The coming of the first child and then of later children expectably changes the quality of marriage. It should deepen ties. But each partner needs to realize that the other, deep down, wants and needs reassurance that a child hasn't usurped all love. If pregnancies and the coming of children go well, what then can threaten the emotional stability of adults? Here are several situations that cause tension and sometimes serious emotional disturbances: Loss of job or business reverses.

We have known people who have lost fortunes and made them again. Nothing disturbs their inner conviction that they will succeed in their work. On the other hand, we have seen emotional disturbances develop at the threat of a change of job or a small temporary reverse in a man's business venture. Such disturbances call for a talk with your doctor or other counselor.

Menopause

 This is a dramatic, emotion-charged event for some women. See our special discussion about its emotional component.

Sex in the later years

More and more, medical science recognizes the need of older people, and their ability, to continue sexual activity into very old age. Even many individuals with heart disease and other ailments can enjoy sexual activity. Sex deprivation, especially in an older man, may cause depression. Here again, a talk with a sympathetic physician will prove helpful.

Security

 We live in a competitive society which really has little mercy for the person who doesn't provide for himself and his family. Social security benefits are inadequate. It is reassuring-and a good preventive of mental tension-to work out early in life a program of disability, retirement, and life insurance which will provide for the family. This doesn't mean that you have to become so worried that you become "insurance poor." There are low-cost, term insurance policies which young people can afford. And almost everyone belongs to at least one organization that offers inexpensive group insurance.

Retirement

 What happens at retirement will probably reflect the sum total of your personality growth during your lifetime. Some people enjoy retirement; others abhor it. Talk at length to your doctor about your emotional as well as physical needs in the retirement period. A change of location may be beneficial emotionally for some people, not for others. If you need part-time work to keep you cheerful, remember that you usually get this more readily in your home location where you are known.