PROBLEMS OF ADOLESCENTS
Physically, many boys and girls are ready for
mating by the time they are 13 to 15; they are sexually mature. But they are
not ready for marriage, with all its responsibilities. Aside from difficulties
they would have in establishing and supporting a home, they are not yet
emotionally adult. They long to be grown-up but in some ways are still attached
to childhood. Independence and sex constitute two of the main problems
adolescents must face. They must break away from old ways of living within a
familiar framework. They must resolve the problem of what to do about 88 /
Family Preventive Care sexual desires-and, despite all they may read or be
told, they must do the resolving themselves.
They must develop not so much a workable
theory of sex but a workable means of handling their new reactions, sensations,
and emotions. As if this were not burden enough, the picture may be complicated
by a number of factors. For example, shortly before, or in early, adolescence,
youngsters go through a period of preferring members of their own sex. Girls
may avoid boys, developing "crushes" on other girls. Boys look down
on girls, become devoted to a chum. This is a natural phase. It is naturally
followed by interest in members of the opposite sex. But these phases follow no
precise timetable.
Ages of youngsters in a group-a school
grade, for example-vary. Some may have started school earlier than others;
some, unusually bright, may be as much as two years younger than many of their
perfectly normal classmates. A normal child may also, for any of many possible
reasons, be older than others in his group. Boys are usually about two years
older than girls when maturity arrives. The age of maturity varies
considerably, too, among individuals. And emotional development does not always
proceed at the same pace. It can be expected, then, that some young people will
be out of step. They will be attracted to members of the opposite sex which the
crowd still disdains, or prefer members of their own sex while their friends
have advanced to dating and flirting. This is disturbing to them.
Not wanting to be on the outside, they try
to be like the majority, and may rush through, or even miss, an important phase
of emotional development or remain in it too long. Social contact is virtually
essential during this period. Young people sometimes have difficulties here,
because of many barriers, including those of race, creed, color, social
position. Such barriers should not be allowed to exist. They do, however, and
parents can make a significant contribution to the welfare of their own
children and the community by doing everything possible to tear them down. No
less difficult for a young person than achieving a sense of balance about sex
is achieving one regarding independence. "Parents are the greatest problem
of adolescence," some young people say. In a sense, this is true. Even
under the best of circumstances, it is not easy for a young person to develop a
new attitude toward the man and woman he has regarded as "father" and
"mother" and whom he now must look upon as people as well as parents.
If, as so often happens, he swings back and forth between extremes, it is as
painful to him as it is to parents. It is helpful if parents can understand the
problems and the pain of adolescence-and the promise as well. As the adolescent
tries to move toward adulthood, he must find new values and a new role for
himself in the world.
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