TOWARD HEALTHY PARENTHOOD

 THE STRATEGY WHEN MOST young couples marry, they are not immediately interested in having children. Rather, their primary concern is with each other. They have established their own little private world; they wish to explore it, savor living in it. Over a period of many months after marriage, the two partners become more deeply cognizant of each other, of each other's interests, of compatibilities, of differences. Today, quite likely, each will have a job, and each will enjoy some measure of freedom within a pattern the couple jointly set up.

This is the period during which they will be establishing a foundation for the family unit. Most married couples want and expect to have children. 

When should they have them? Let us assume you wish advice about that. If we were to be asked for it, we would probably suggest that you wait a few months or a year before embarking on the venture of having a child. It might be longer. This would depend upon you-how long you have known each other prior to marriage, how many rough edges there are (and there always are some) to be smoothed down, and how old you are. 

A woman does not have to be young to have her first child in safety.

But it is nice to be young enough to enjoy one's grandchildren. How long to wait depends upon the time, too, you need to get your home settled and to be financially prepared, at least reasonably so, for the baby. At the same time, it is true that people generally tend to become somewhat less fertile as they grow older. If they wait too long, it may be difficult to have children exactly when they wish to have them or to have as many as they would like. If you live in a moderate climate or have modern conveniences, there is no need to be concerned about a special season of the year that might be best for the baby to be born in.

 If the climate is severe, it would be better to have mild weather during the baby's first few months to give him a good start and to simplify things for the mother. How should children be spaced? There is no magic interval but we would suggest that when your first child is two or three years old, you might well consider having a second. Usually a child is in a comparatively "settled" state at age 2 or 3, and this is a good time to add a brother or sister. How you space your children, of course, depends too upon income and health.

It would not be wise to have a second child, any more than the first, before you are physically, emotionally, and economically ready. Being an only child for a while will not hurt your first born. Having tired, worried, harassed parents might. How many children should you have? There is no standard answer, of course. As many as you want and can afford-afford physically and emotionally as well as financially. Large families are nice; so are small ones. Quality is important-more so, we believe, than quantity.

 You will do best, we think, to keep an open mind about the number of children you will have. Your ideas may change; having each child is a unique experience; all of us change with experience; this is natural and to be expected. . Why not, you may say, let nature decide the number of children and the spacing? Nature works wonders, but on a large scale, without particular concern for the individual.